Monday, June 27, 2005

am grateful to

the contrast-colored space around a literal,
the silence that lets me hear the spelt out words,
the darkness when i am asleep,
the void that engulfs my mind,
the discomfort in certain relationships,
the coldness in a relationship,
the restlessness of my mind and,

my shortcomings.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

kannathil muthamittal

O! Flower of the heavens,
Why that forlorn look in your eyes?

You are the life’s beginning
and the visible horizon.

You swept like the breeze
and stayed as the breath.

O! Sanguine surge in the soul...

You are my akin as well as my foe,
the flower of love and a thorn in the womb,
the cherished rain and the clouting thunder,
a neonate body as well as an aching death

O! Conqueror of death, conferrer of life...

You are my wealth as well as my wrecked ship,
an enriched epic as well as the error in it,
lent light and the bitter tears at night,
my bountiful sky as well as my broken wings,

And the beloved sorrow that I nurtured.triskaidekaphobia

No. I am not moonstruck. Just thought I shall translate/render the title track of the Maniratnam movie - Kannathil Muthamittal, written by Vairamuthu. The lyrics as you see below is the post in my blog dated 13th of June, 2005.

Monday, June 13, 2005

a peck on the cheek

nenjil jil jil jil jil
kaadhil dhil dhil dhil dhil
kaNNathil muththamittaal nee kaNNathil muththamittaal

oru dheyivam thandha poovae
kaNNil thedal enna thaayae

vazhvu thodangum idam needhaanae...
vaanam mudiyumidam needhaanae
kaatrai poala nee vandhayae swasamaga nee nindrayae
maarbil oorum uyirae...

enadhu sondham nee, yenadhu pagaiyum nee
kadhal malarum nee karuvil muLLum nee
chella mazhaiyum nee, chinna idiyum nee
piRandha udalum nee, piriyum uyirum nee
maraNam meenda jananam nee,

enadhu selvam nee, enadhu vaRumai nee
izhaiththa kavidhai nee, ezhuththu pizhaiyum nee
iraval veLicham nee, iravin kaNNir nee
enadhu vaanam nee, izhandha siRagum nee
naan thooki vaLLartha thuyaram nee
- vairamuthutriskaidekaphobia

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Silhouette

It was a rainy dark night. There were heavy dosages of flashes of white light like those thrown on a celebrity involved in a controversy. And the thunders - they started from one end with heavy thumping and ended at the other end in an allayed mode – probably the heavens were witnessing those spiteful moments of the malicious pandava-gaurava dice tussle. But it seemed like the thunders and lightning had taken some inspiration from the mortals. The usual thunder-follows-the-lightning pattern was absent and there were heavy flashes of light but no subsequent thunders. It was as if the thunders were involved in a retort rather than a conversation. The thunders boomed after a relatively longer time.

Vehicles sped on the autobahn and the roads lay bare feigning to be an offspring of the rain and light – they shimmered as wet black silk would. The street lights were the only indicators of the intensity of the downpour. One could easily think that the government had come up with an innovative idea of providing showers, in the night, from the streetlights to alleviate the cruel heat that reigned through the day.

I was in one of those speeding vehicles and was trying to measure the intensity of the showers from the streetlights. The rains denied me the luxury of relaxing after a heavy grueling day at work. It brought in me a sense of urgency, though I couldn’t imagine one single task that would provoke me to react with such urgency. The heart-pounding feeling existed and this unrest did hurt me.

The driver constantly made sure he removed the mist that formed within our closed compartment. The two sticks dutifully alternated from one end to the other clearing off the clouds’ attack on us.

Sitting on the backseat ensured that I see just the silhouettes of the other people traveling with me - the silhouettes that formed as a result of the light beam emerging from the vehicles on the opposite direction. The beam from our vehicle threw light on a car that was experiencing the same package as ours. I could see three heads: one was of the driver’s which I wasn’t quite interested; the other two on the back seat was that of a man’s and a woman’s. They were seated alongside each other so close that there was enough space for two people to sit on either side of the two. Another of those beams heavier than ours from the opposite direction, made me see just the silhouettes of the three now.

I was slowly getting relieved of the sense of urgency that the rains managed to instill in me, a few moments ago. I felt the peace that could have prevailed between the man and the woman. Our vehicle now succeeded in overtaking their car and both the vehicles moved on parallel tracks. I loved this peace that prevailed in me and controlled that instinctive urge to look into their car. The two cars were on a parallel mode long enough for the two to get uneasy but I didn’t quite sense any movement.

By now, a vehicle speeding in the opposite direction made our driver to operate in the safe mode and I again saw just the silhouettes of the two. The lady had rested her head on her man’s shoulder. I imagined peace to endure between the two. The driver of our vehicle flashed his lights prompting the vehicle in front of us to move faster. The flashing of lights showed me the yellow number plate which stood as a proof of a hired vehicle. The driver of our vehicle now zoomed and extended his arm backwards and switched on the vehicle’s private light. He did it with such perfection that he never removed his eye from the road. It was an act that would come in handy – sure he would have taken a long time to practice it. Apparently time had come for the paths to diverge from the public median. He asked for directions to reach the houses of the inmates of the vehicle.

Within these few moments of distraction I lost track of the coupled silhouettes. I frantically searched for peace. Just after few fractions of seconds I saw them traverse on the main median and we on our less important road. I consciously made a check on my state of my mind. Peace did prevail in me, as strong as the bond that I imagined between the two.