The Proof is in the Pudding

 

The little boy I knew

cared for all the bugs he knew

He would ask them to be handled safely

Though he’d see them later barely

He’d ask they not be hit

even the mosquitoes 

that gave him bad sores

He didn’t think twice

to cuddle me tight, or

press mine on to his face

He’d latch on to my back

without any reluctance

He’d ask for my hand 

before we slept

to squeeze his into mine

We’d play the nudge game

finding the patterns

and relaying them 

at the tips of our fingers

We’d go on and on, 

until sleep beseeched 

our tired end-of-day minds

These portals of playfulness 

were the proof of parenting

I thought so very proudly

Now, that he’s grown tall 

and gotten a teen mind

I miss the sweetness 

though the pudding is still mine

~ 12 Jul 25, 23 Jul 25

Oracle

 

Every parent must become the ‘oracle’ (of Delphi or of Matrix fame, I mean) that their kids want to go to. 

Everyone needs an oracle or oracles. You will need to believe that they will have the answers. They can also be books, the god, or your own self.

~ 07 Jun 25

Friends and Parents

 

For them, 

They are partners in crime 

We are parents in crime

~ 22 Jul 25

Intelligence and Obedience

 

Me thinks: Intelligence cannot be bundled as common sense, unless the person has suffered, or been there. 

Context: We tell our kids so many things that we've learnt after we've suffered and that which has become common sense to us. But expecting them to take that as common sense and expecting godspeed is unfortunately unrealistic. The paradox is that this intelligence has still not become common sense to me!

Serendipity or coincidence: In today's A Word A Day series from Anu Garg, in the thought for the today, he's mentioned George Orwell (from the book 1984), because it was his birthday on 25Jun25: 

OBEDIENCE IS NOT ENOUGH. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own?

~26June26

Teeth

 

We've been given such small teeth and not being able to take proper care of it (even one at a time) indicates inattention, lack of mindfulness, and improper application of mind. So it's something to do with the mind. Now, extend it to the other body parts.

~25May25

Parenting Bee

 

After parenting my two sons who are in their teens now, somehow, I feel that I only got it right the third time... when parenting my pet cat.

~ 18 Apr 2025

Quarantine and Teens

 

Well, this comparison came to me this morning: about my state of being when I was in COVID quarantine and dealing with a teenager. I know it would sell for a good meme, but since it's not my area of expertise though it may be something I would love to consume, I will just have to stick to writing it down.

Put on the masks aka Talk less

Maintain safe distance

Eat healthy

Sleep on time

Exercise for sure

Practice mindfulness aka yoga aka meditation

~ 06Apr25

For Dis-ease To Go

 

Physical

Cut a negative: Avoid eating junk food

Add a positive: Choose good food

Enhance: Do physical activity

Mental 

Cut a negative: Avoid anger

Add a positive: Sleep well

Enhance: Do breathwork

~21 Feb 2025

Me, my son, and his mother

 

At times, I wonder 

how it would feel

to feel the tenderness 

that my son feels 

towards me

~ 21 mar, 24

Coconut

 

The coconut is 

like my hardheaded teenager.

I realise this after seeing 

the burning red mole-like scar 

on my little finger

This coconut that I held 

in my palm a few days ago 

And hit hard on its skull 

to get to the fruit...

As a retaliation, 

the split halves fought back 

to seal the crack,

biting my little finger

right at the circle of breach

~ Apr 28, 2023

When

 

When my twelve year old son says

'Limit your visits

I would not like to be seen with you'

When to ignore and when to take cue

When to cry out loud when to reflect

When to act ignorant

And when to act arrogant

It's the same son 

to whom I was once

the apple of his eyes

Now he looks at me

as his provider and not a parent

~ 20 March, 2022

Teenage Rush

I have been a teenager twice

Long ago, when I was young girl

And now, 

As a pre-teen boy, 

who's going through 

the puberty pangs 

inside an all-grown-up 

mid-life crisis body

giving company to my son

I have come to conclude 

that it must be really difficult 

dealing with a parent 

who has a boy in his teens.

~ 05 March, 2022

What Am I Doing These Days

 

A long forgotten friend asked me 

what I was doing these days.

After a brief ponder, I say:

Am trying to lay my hands on, 

on all that's my bother.

Grasp it, and look closer.

At times, i wonder if it's my error.

I know I must break it down, and

define each bother, 

its characteristic

And then, think of a fix.

At times, I think, find, apply.

But fail, either because 

i don't know if it's the right path, 

Or because i don't persist.

And then, I blame myself

for holding things, or,

at times, I realise and let go.

At times, I wonder if I let go, 

Is it either at the wrong time

or the wrong thing.

~ Nov 24, 2021

Necrosis

 

Do you see, my dear boy,

the tendril of a climber

that clinged on to a 

growing neem so slender

has created a necrotic patch

just above the line of latch

I have been wanting to say

that I don't mean to 

trample your flow alike

when I lay a firm grip 

on your forearm, and 

on your growing senses

in such a not so nice way

I only try to keep you away

from an impending disaster,

or to avoid a tense moment, 

which sooner would be 

a cathartic exploration 

of each other's anger

Now that I am out of denial,

the neem so much reminds me 

of your growing mind

So, will you forgive me 

for the necrosis,

'cos it's always a struggle 

for a learning parent

~ Sep 06, 2021

The Fifth Monkey

There’s a tussle among the thoughts
Their quest is about
who must get thought about,
for how long and first.

These thoughts ace at striking me
just when I lay supine at night
They splash on my face
this handful of ice cold water
that I readily hold in my palms together.

I watch them in silence, and wonder:
how they flawlessly mimic
kids inside classrooms
waiting to run amok
at the ring of the relieving bells.

When I try to tame and distract,
there’s no harping or heeding.
Now I get it. No, they are not kids.
Like adolescents, they get better at it.

One after another, the adolescent me
fills the seats of the classroom,
and do just what they think.

While one of me thinks about
how much of a wonder a song is,
another one’s memory comes rushing in
fighting for my mind space,
and
I am already reeling out commentaries
about a recent song that
sets me on a trampoline
making me jump out of joy,
every time I listen to it, and
the other one that’s full of warmth
like a lover cuddling me
gently from behind, ear-to-ear,
resting their chin on my shoulder
when I am breathing in
the crisp, cold air on a breezy night.

Another of me now raises the hand
and recites an enticing analogy:
about the pleasures of finding
long-forgotten unsent notes
to a lover,
like that of seeing
misplaced, forgotten money
under folded, unused clothes.

A third one
points to the direction of my son
who murmurs, ‘no, I didn’t do it’,
in his sleep,
and makes me ponder
about how much of a bother
I have been to him.

Here comes version number four.
Who am I?
Where’s the missing euphoria, or,
was there even any such thing in me?
Guess I am just such a bore...

Around about the fifth hour
the fifth monkey sits up...
retching a papery white and blue
peppered with all these thoughts,
sweet and sour.

Like a good bout of vomit
throwing out the bad bile,
this poring act brought the relief
like the small pill that cures the ill,

And then came the sleep,
slow and still.


~ Jul 06

A Heart-Warming Tale

Eddie the Eagle

Apparently, a tad old review. Be that as it may, I wanna write it anyways.

This one is such a heart-warming true narrative of Eddie, a kid who aspires to be at the Olympics. The movie's director manages to create the endearing feeling for the protagonist by showcasing his zeal to participate in the Olympics, despite his shortcomings. You kinda get a feeling of having won a medal for Eddie when the only thing that he achieves is the minuscule victory of having qualified for the Olympics, and that too when there were hardly any stringent minimum qualifications laid for qualifying for participating in the Olympics.

Most of us are mediocre folks, who live a life of a cigar that is either smoked or trampled, all done too quickly. So, this one eggs us to dream, and go after it. Another remarkable point is about the freedom that Eddie's parents give him, especially his mom who is super-supportive of Eddie's dreams. Consistently, the endearing mom that she is, she puts his aspirations at the top of her list and forgives and encourages that self-motivating lad. And, all of this, despite Eddie's dad who had long given up on him. Wish we could have a person like Eddie's mom in our home team!

And, not really sure why the handsome Hugh Jackman would have wanted to do the role of a prodigal ski jumper. Anyways, good to be seeing him without the metal prongs.

Introduction to Violence

Wouldn't exposing kids to the act of buying meat from a butcher (and thereby to the cleaning process) be considered as an act of violence?

~ Running Thoughts, June 04

Mommy! It is still raining!

When I am happy and you are around,
I am all smiles. I keep my arms wide open.
I walk and look up at you.
I even think you are showering your love on me.

When I am sad and you are around,
I am sober. I don't even swing my arms.
I walk and wait for you to embrace me.
I even think you are crying for me.

And you know...?

I sometimes think that
the crucified Christ,
even with all his energy sapped,
shows his love for you.
He keeps his arms wide open
and is proud to have felt you,
before the rest of the world did.


P.S.: I hope you spot the analogies!

I hope you learn

To reach home safely
even if 
you go behind butterflies,
chasing them with glee
and excitement.

To not fret and just think
even if
you have missed 
your one footwear
in the middle of a busy road.

To rise up from the earth
using your own hands, 
because
I may not be around every time,
to lift you.

To deal with annoyances
with a cool head
because 
you would only then find
which ones last or die,
and to put them to rest.

To find joyous playmates
because
play is knowledge 
camouflaged as fun,
and teaches sustenance
and selflessness.

To not sulk over trifles 
because
brooding is contagious 
but, experience 
can make a mountain 
out of a molehill.

To find solace in music
even if
you are hard of hearing
others and self,
because it anoints, 
soothes and heals.

To get to know books
because, even if 
you do not earn yourself much,
and when your friends 
are out of reach,

Books are precious assets,
And they make good friends.