Parenting

 

If you buy a dog

and expect someone else

to walk, to play with it 

and teach the tricks

Then, isn’t it unreasonable 

to ask unconditional love from it

Of course connection is love 

and it compounds with

the amount of time invested

~ 12 Jul 25

The Proof is in the Pudding

 

The little boy I knew

cared for all the bugs he knew

He would ask them to be handled safely

Though he’d see them later barely

He’d ask they not be hit

even the mosquitoes 

that gave him bad sores

He didn’t think twice

to cuddle me tight, or

press mine on to his face

He’d latch on to my back

without any reluctance

He’d ask for my hand 

before we slept

to squeeze his into mine

We’d play the nudge game

finding the patterns

and relaying them 

at the tips of our fingers

We’d go on and on, 

until sleep beseeched 

our tired end-of-day minds

These portals of playfulness 

were the proof of parenting

I thought so very proudly

Now, that he’s grown tall 

and gotten a teen mind

I miss the sweetness 

though the pudding is still mine

~ 12 Jul 25, 23 Jul 25

Friends and Parents

 

For them, 

They are partners in crime 

We are parents in crime

~ 22 Jul 25

Clarity

 

She spoke with such clarity; those words were like the thoughts she had written it down earlier, for herself, for no particular reason.

~ 22 Jul 25

Intelligence and Obedience

 

Me thinks: Intelligence cannot be bundled as common sense, unless the person has suffered, or been there. 

Context: We tell our kids so many things that we've learnt after we've suffered and that which has become common sense to us. But expecting them to take that as common sense and expecting godspeed is unfortunately unrealistic. The paradox is that this intelligence has still not become common sense to me!

Serendipity or coincidence: In today's A Word A Day series from Anu Garg, in the thought for the today, he's mentioned George Orwell (from the book 1984), because it was his birthday on 25Jun25: 

OBEDIENCE IS NOT ENOUGH. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own?

~26June26

Namesake

 

Leaves in autumn:

Wonder who called it 'leaves'!

~ 26May25

Earning and Spending

 

For what cause 

Are you getting and 

spending kaasu?

~ 18 Apr 2025

Terrace Bird

 

What did the terrace bird say

in your ear today

I am sure it was full of mirth 

unlike the humans on earth

Did it ask for more food 

like little Mr Twist did, or

was it happy with what you gave 

and sing you the hymn you pray 

~ 08Jul25 

Knowing Self

 

When you perceive 

what you are going through 

And are thoroughly

confused about it

You are fixated in getting

an understanding 

of the situation, and which

in part is also about yourself

After a few days of rumination

And practicing Rilke’s idea

of living the question

You put it on paper, accept, 

surrender, and let go. 

As progress, 

it cracks a part of the code 

You then decide you must 

take it to the oracles and 

later also to the someones 

who are partly involved in it

And they all look at you

without the judgemental eyes

Accept you for what you are

and validate your feelings

You realise and get affirmed 

that you are not out of range

And certainly are in the hands

of the someone safe

Then the right phrase for it

presents itself and brings a 

new dimension, and unknots

the remains of the confusion 

That there is a ‘charm’ 

in a new friendship

amidst life's other hardships

And it can bring such calm

It helps you understand

a part of yourself 

which you never have been

able to decode 

The ‘word’ certainly 

tends to multiply

to let bliss into your life.

~ 06Jul25

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Things I Know For Sure

 

I see the softness in the 

glow of the morning star 

and there's nothing to sulk

when the glow gives in 

on arrival of the morning sun

The point is to be present

Nature has its sweet rhythm

and it doesn't bend or break 

for anyone's whims and fancies

There is religion in birds

for each sing their own prayers

some only twice in the day

at the dawn and the dusk 

and some all through the day

All the monstrous acts

that defy humankind, such as 

a Hitler’s tyranny, could not 

have thrived in a monastery

A dog will wag its tail 

A cat will slow-blink its eyes

when you call their name 

And expecting otherwise

will only give in to our vices 

And so is it with people

Attention, imagination, hope,

and more than anything, 

kindness - all must be pursued 

with as much diligence and worry

as we pursue all our subjects 

and objects of impermanence 

Self-enquiry is the 

only surest way forward

And how far one can see,

in the direction of well-being

will determine how well we 

want to live our everyday life

~ 05Jul25

Conversations with Someone and Self

 

Dear someone,

I wonder why I say so much

Am I starved or are you delicious

Are you therapeutic or do I need attention, 

or maybe, I wanted to just talk to someone

Why should I know, I wonder…

I think of the merit in the friendship

Or what if after sometime I discover

That our core values don't match 

And regret having wasted time of both

Or disclosed too much

Would I have said so much

If you were of the other gender

If you were not light skinned

If you did not look pleasant

If I didn't have the luxury of 

both your time and my time

Why am I so analytical about it

Am I impatient, seeking sympathy, 

or asking for answers

Along the way, I also wonder about intentions

For that matter, everyone's intentions, and

the process of making friends…

Is my process flawed?

I go back to my past with guilt 

of picking friends with benefits 

But everyone does, don't they?

Well, let's see what it takes…

When we are young, 

we like our acquaintances for some odd reasons

We do a lot of talking, goofing around, 

and doing things together, in repetition, day after day

We hardly notice that it has been unfolding, 

all the while, unawares

And, like magic… friends just happen

Later on, it's friends for life, if it stands the test of time.

We may get to notice the flaws, but don't mind them, 

or work around it

When we are in midlife,

We rush past our lives and attend only to priorities

We give no space for the magic to happen

We hardly have the time to talk to the someones

We are also afraid, and wary of getting hurt

We don't make an attempt in the fear of shame, 

or the suffering of betrayal or of losing them

Or, are too self-absorbed in our mundane lives

So what do we do…

When the setting to make friends is unfamiliar 

or the setting is completely lost or absent

When our conscious self is adept

at noticing the other's  interests, problems, values, views

And it dwells on likes and prejudices,

making the space between the two to dissolve or increase

And only wants to flock with the ones of the same feather 

So, it's ok, if all of it does not align

It helps to be aware that there are different ways 

of getting to know people

And works well if we are open to experiences

It's ok to have conversations with the someones…

As long as we are kind to each other 

and know that we want nothing from the other

So, let's let our guard down as many times 

as we had to pull them up in the past 

And for as many times, when there's a chance 

for light to shine on our life which at times runs pale

for there is nothing to lose in this transient realm 

for there's no sure way to know more of the someones

Inside us and otherwise.

~ 04Jun25 to 03Jul25

Let's Be Flowers

 

Clearly, I can see

You want to ask me, 

your new friend,

Why I say so much 

without any inhibition?

May be I am audacious.

But, I don't mind the cost

of being brushed

in the hope of letting

something blossom

My point is…

Why not more fragrance

in a world that's decaying

~ 25May25

Bittersweet

You were like my love for coffee 

that I picked late in life

I loved the sweetness, 

but it came at some cost 

After denial came acceptance

of the fact that I cannot take you

with your innate bitterness.

So, I had no choice but to let go.

But that I still love coffee 

is also undeniable. 

As is with you.

So, I won't mind bearing you,

with ‘a pinch of’ sugar, 

which is just occasionally.

Certainly, now the wrestling

in my mind is settled.

Can I call this closure?

If yes, it did take a while…

Peace, now!

~ 10 Apr 2025

Puncture

My torn heart 

lets your words of yesteryears sew me

unaware that 

the needle eye is no more

~ 10Apr25

Terrace

 

You yearn for the warmth 

of a good friend’s house

that's aplenty of loving gestures 

But all you feel is the unwelcome 

coldness of solitude 

So, you meander through 

your sullenness

feeling the calmness of the

night sky above your head

And in minutes, you find solace

in the winds and the words that 

caress your tired body and mind

Isn't that proof enough

that one thing can be

substituted for another?

08 Apr 2025, 09:41 pm

Making Sense

 

When music works on me

my life seems to me 

like a copy-color book

It piques my mind

I pick the colour it tells

And shade my thoughts

under its spell

At times, 

it makes me 

imagine and invent 

new hues, and

splash splendid shades

on my mundane life

At times,

it singles out a subtle emotion

wading through the pool 

of fluidic memories

illuminating it

So I can examine later

in greater detail

Like the sight of food

evoking a sense of taste 

One sense can make another.

The sound of music

for me

evokes a sense of colour 

~ 23 Feb 2025

Courtesy: Thendral vandhu theendum pothu enna vannamo...

Glad

 

You were the song in loop

That was all over me.

Now, I am over you.

~ 05 July 24

Death - The end stage

 

From 

Able to brittle 

Coherent to fuzzy

Thriving to surviving 

Sufficient to dependent

At times

the coming of the end

is not too sudden 

to realize or

to stop the hazard

But

happens like the sunset

slow and elusive 

and difficult to prevent

~ 09 June 2024

Me, my son, and his mother

 

At times, I wonder 

how it would feel

to feel the tenderness 

that my son feels 

towards me

~ 21 mar, 24

The Buddha and Lao Tzu

 

My only solace was

that it wasn't fatal,

but something reparative 

But I replay in loop 

the seen and the unseen

of the untoward accident

based on the decision I made

I enact variations of the 

traumatic event

based on the decisions

I could have made

Despite the Buddha telling me

pain is inevitable, 

suffering is optional

Despite Lao Tzu telling me

living in the past is depressive, 

living in the future creates anxiety

Guilt and logic keeps swaying me

on each of its sides

as I walk on the tensed life rope

What's the point, if I know and yet

don't or can't remember?

I can only write, reread, shut, and 

wish myself Godspeed.

~  20 March, 24