Parenting

 

If you buy a dog

and expect someone else

to walk, to play with it 

and teach the tricks

Then, isn’t it unreasonable 

to ask unconditional love from it

Of course connection is love 

and it compounds with

the amount of time invested

~ 12 Jul 25

The Proof is in the Pudding

 

The little boy I knew

cared for all the bugs he knew

He would ask them to be handled safely

Though he’d see them later barely

He’d ask they not be hit

even the mosquitoes 

that gave him bad sores

He didn’t think twice

to cuddle me tight, or

press mine on to his face

He’d latch on to my back

without any reluctance

He’d ask for my hand 

before we slept

to squeeze his into mine

We’d play the nudge game

finding the patterns

and relaying them 

at the tips of our fingers

We’d go on and on, 

until sleep beseeched 

our tired end-of-day minds

These portals of playfulness 

were the proof of parenting

I thought so very proudly

Now, that he’s grown tall 

and gotten a teen mind

I miss the sweetness 

though the pudding is still mine

~ 12 Jul 25, 23 Jul 25

Attention

 

If you have managed to look at the same thing and notice one or two things differently, then you are paying attention. But then, it is not in a very critical or objective way; perhaps, more in a creative soft way. Like observing and thinking through your heart rather than through your brain. 

Case in Point: When driving back from the beach, the gigantic strong trees bearing the slender climbers that were swaying to the passing vehicles got me distracted to look up slightly. And then, I noticed how the entire Besant avenue had overarching trees that met atop, and crowding the air space so much that you hardly notice the blue sky.

~ 07 Jun 25

Adrift

 

How is it that things afloat on the sea, always move towards the north. It is the same with humans. We start at a point in the beach and end up further away, northside from where we left our belongings.

~ 07 Jun 25

Kid Dog

 

Stationed on the beach sand, 

the insecure kid-dog yelped 

desperately at its human parents 

who were out on the beach, 

wanting to enjoy the sea. 

Pets, especially dogs, are always lovable because of this innocent mutual emotion that is etched in them, till their last breath.

~ 07 Jun 25

Oracle

 

Every parent must become the ‘oracle’ (of Delphi or of Matrix fame, I mean) that their kids want to go to. 

Everyone needs an oracle or oracles. You will need to believe that they will have the answers. They can also be books, the god, or your own self.

~ 07 Jun 25

Friends and Parents

 

For them, 

They are partners in crime 

We are parents in crime

~ 22 Jul 25

Clarity

 

She spoke with such clarity; those words were like the thoughts she had written it down earlier, for herself, for no particular reason.

~ 22 Jul 25

Crow’s Nest

 

I have seen a crow’s nest, pretty much a bare one, but have never seen a crow resting in its nest. Given how hyperactive a crow usually is, at least in the daytime, I have hardly ever imagined a crow in its nest! Of course, I've seen a bird and the birdlings in paintings, with all the babies' mouths wide open. But nothing so far in real time. And obviously, I need to be living on trees to see the entire family, which is not going to happen any sooner.

So, I saw its highness today, when I was at the Anna Centenary library with my seat overlooking a moderately grown neem tree. It was indeed a spectacle to see the busy crow sit still. I was not too sure if there were any eggs in the nest. But yeah, the crow was trying hard to snuggle itself in its nest. And as expected, it disappeared into its busy world after a while. I had to wait for a really long time to get a pic of the crow in its home, and then had to give up! I guess, because it got too busy during lunch time… I meant for humankind. Funny me!

~02 Jun 25

Intelligence and Obedience

 

Me thinks: Intelligence cannot be bundled as common sense, unless the person has suffered, or been there. 

Context: We tell our kids so many things that we've learnt after we've suffered and that which has become common sense to us. But expecting them to take that as common sense and expecting godspeed is unfortunately unrealistic. The paradox is that this intelligence has still not become common sense to me!

Serendipity or coincidence: In today's A Word A Day series from Anu Garg, in the thought for the today, he's mentioned George Orwell (from the book 1984), because it was his birthday on 25Jun25: 

OBEDIENCE IS NOT ENOUGH. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own?

~26June26

Namesake

 

Leaves in autumn:

Wonder who called it 'leaves'!

~ 26May25

Self-Enquiry

 

The wonders a bit of self-enquiry does, 

in the middle of one's falling and falling!

~ 25May25

Sleep Game

 

Feeling sleepy and tired for no particular reason need not be an indication of depression; it could be just anemia. And can be balanced by proper nutrition, hydration, and exercise. Here, exercise can be replaced by physical movement. And when it is done with some fun, like a sport, and with some purpose, it is a real game changer.

~ 25May25

Teeth

 

We've been given such small teeth and not being able to take proper care of it (even one at a time) indicates inattention, lack of mindfulness, and improper application of mind. So it's something to do with the mind. Now, extend it to the other body parts.

~25May25

Traffic Hype

 

Slow moving traffic 

is not worth the hype at all… 

especially, 

when you are on a two-wheeler, 

and you have somewhere to go 

something important to do

and have very little time.

~ 27 April 2025

Beware

 

No matter how much 

of an egomaniac you are,

The only person 

who can sideline you,

condescend you, 

wag his index finger at you, 

and make you cut a sorry face,

is the traffic policeman 

So, beware!

~ 27 Apr 2025

Earning and Spending

 

For what cause 

Are you getting and 

spending kaasu?

~ 18 Apr 2025

Parenting Bee

 

After parenting my two sons who are in their teens now, somehow, I feel that I only got it right the third time... when parenting my pet cat.

~ 18 Apr 2025

Relationship Advice

You may come across people who like the same things as you do.

But don't be misled into taking that for being like-minded.

It can lead to a lot of miscommunication.

~ 12 Apr 2025

Only You

 

I would

If I could

keep your names

as the title of all my poems

dear, bittersweet and petrichor!

~ 10 Apr, 2025

A Family - Not Be Like

 

I am the mother of our offsprings

I can make food and take good care But I am not your lover I am the provider for our family

I can make money and buy things But not be your lover ~ 14Jul25

Terrace Bird

 

What did the terrace bird say

in your ear today

I am sure it was full of mirth 

unlike the humans on earth

Did it ask for more food 

like little Mr Twist did, or

was it happy with what you gave 

and sing you the hymn you pray 

~ 08Jul25 

Today

 

Silent office 

Bright lights

Empty cubicles

Deafening silence

Structured thinking

Uninterrupted me time

Absolute introspection

~ 07Jul25 

Knowing Self

 

When you perceive 

what you are going through 

And are thoroughly

confused about it

You are fixated in getting

an understanding 

of the situation, and which

in part is also about yourself

After a few days of rumination

And practicing Rilke’s idea

of living the question

You put it on paper, accept, 

surrender, and let go. 

As progress, 

it cracks a part of the code 

You then decide you must 

take it to the oracles and 

later also to the someones 

who are partly involved in it

And they all look at you

without the judgemental eyes

Accept you for what you are

and validate your feelings

You realise and get affirmed 

that you are not out of range

And certainly are in the hands

of the someone safe

Then the right phrase for it

presents itself and brings a 

new dimension, and unknots

the remains of the confusion 

That there is a ‘charm’ 

in a new friendship

amidst life's other hardships

And it can bring such calm

It helps you understand

a part of yourself 

which you never have been

able to decode 

The ‘word’ certainly 

tends to multiply

to let bliss into your life.

~ 06Jul25

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Things I Know For Sure

 

I see the softness in the 

glow of the morning star 

and there's nothing to sulk

when the glow gives in 

on arrival of the morning sun

The point is to be present

Nature has its sweet rhythm

and it doesn't bend or break 

for anyone's whims and fancies

There is religion in birds

for each sing their own prayers

some only twice in the day

at the dawn and the dusk 

and some all through the day

All the monstrous acts

that defy humankind, such as 

a Hitler’s tyranny, could not 

have thrived in a monastery

A dog will wag its tail 

A cat will slow-blink its eyes

when you call their name 

And expecting otherwise

will only give in to our vices 

And so is it with people

Attention, imagination, hope,

and more than anything, 

kindness - all must be pursued 

with as much diligence and worry

as objects of impermanence 

Self-enquiry is the 

only surest way forward

And how far one can see,

in the direction of well-being

will determine how well we 

want to live our everyday life

~ 05Jul25

Conversations with Someone and Self

 

Dear someone,

I wonder why I say so much

Am I starved or are you delicious

Are you therapeutic or do I need attention, 

or maybe, I wanted to just talk to someone

Why should I know, I wonder…

I think of the merit in the friendship

Or what if after sometime I discover

That our core values don't match 

And regret having wasted time of both

Or disclosed too much

Would I have said so much

If you were of the other gender

If you were not light skinned

If you did not look pleasant

If I didn't have the luxury of 

both your time and my time

Why am I so analytical about it

Am I impatient, seeking sympathy, 

or asking for answers

Along the way, I also wonder about intentions

For that matter, everyone's intentions, and

the process of making friends…

Is my process flawed?

I go back to my past with guilt 

of picking friends with benefits 

But everyone does, don't they?

Well, let's see what it takes…

When we are young, 

we like our acquaintances for some odd reasons

We do a lot of talking, goofing around, 

and doing things together, in repetition, day after day

We hardly notice that it has been unfolding, 

all the while, unawares

And, like magic… friends just happen

Later on, it's friends for life, if it stands the test of time.

We may get to notice the flaws, but don't mind them, 

or work around it

When we are in midlife,

We rush past our lives and attend only to priorities

We give no space for the magic to happen

We hardly have the time to talk to the someones

We are also afraid, and wary of getting hurt

We don't make an attempt in the fear of shame, 

or the suffering of betrayal or of losing them

Or, are too self-absorbed in our mundane lives

So what do we do…

When the setting to make friends is unfamiliar 

or the setting is completely lost or absent

When our conscious self is adept

at noticing the other's  interests, problems, values, views

And it dwells on likes and prejudices,

making the space between the two to dissolve or increase

And only wants to flock with the ones of the same feather 

So, it's ok, if all of it does not align

It helps to be aware that there are different ways 

of getting to know people

And works well if we are open to experiences

It's ok to have conversations with the someones…

As long as we are kind to each other 

and know that we want nothing from the other

So, let's let our guard down as many times 

as we had to pull them up in the past 

And for as many times, when there's a chance 

for light to shine on our life which at times runs pale

for there is nothing to lose in this transient realm 

for there's no sure way to know more of the someones

Inside us and otherwise.

~ 04Jun25 to 03Jul25

Wishes on Your B'day

 

Here are some flowers 

(read words) on your birthday!

To set a poem on a person

for a good long time I've known

is not so much fun

I fear that my mind might 

pluck some and leave some 

of our thoughts in my garden

For this same reason, 

I am not so good 

at farewell speeches

‘cos I am convinced that

the memories we've made

are enough

And to summarise 

indicates an end… Perhaps, 

I am shy and superstitious

But if I wish to send love

to someone far

words are all that I have

So, in the pretext of wishing 

you and your beautiful mind, 

I slip in a wish for me as well

that we continue our good run 

in picking each other's brain

~ 27 Jun 2025

Is it Me or Is It You

 

Everytime I see you, 

I ask myself:

how can I possibly look 

eye to eye and smile at you

Despite me, despite you

and despite all that we've

done to each other

And then, 

I remember the time…

Ages ago,

how I had looked at you 

so lovingly for a while,

while your attention 

was elsewhere

And it all made sense

just when I read a poet say:

When you take a long, loving

look anywhere, you feel more

bonded with whatever you've

looked at.

~ 25Jun25

And then what?

Not being pessimistic, but

things did come into perspective

When I was living my days 

through questions of overwhelm,

and self-doubt, and I asked myself: 

and, then what?

I have to mention, 

my life got much simpler.

In fact, it has ever been so,

after I started asking:

yeah, so what?

Note to Self: 

Later, I realized why the question ‘And, Then What’ made so much sense. It is a modified, short-term, immediate version of death or impermanence meditation (aka Tryambakam Mantra). Of which, apparently, I seem not to have understood the practicality of it, though I have been reciting it often. In other words, I knew the meaning that death is inevitable and when death comes I need to accept it without resistance because that is the way of life. However, I did not know how to apply, or when to apply, and on what to apply.

Accepting death of self is fine, of others is to an extent fine. And death is a grave concept, and is also not something that we experience in our everyday lives. But then there is grief along with death, which is not attachment per se; grief is a human aspect, like how to love is to be human. To deal with grief is somehow greater than dealing with the concept of death or detachment. Somehow, even though we have conceptualised death very well, or say that we need to imagine or remember it so as to prepare for it, when it comes to dealing with death and grief practically, the gap is too huge. Unless one goes through it, there is no way to get acquainted with it. Anyways...

Death aside, there are greater aspects of detachment that one needs to be acquainted with, in everyday life. The obvious ones such as material detachment are easy to deal with; but the unusual suspects that you get attached to unawares is the problem area. These are aspects such as people, habits, and places. That is where the ‘And, then what’ question helped me. For example, if we do so, then what... And then, after a few months, will it matter at all? Are you going to feel the same way after a year?

~ 05Jun25

Let's Be Flowers

 

Clearly, I can see

You want to ask me, 

your new friend,

Why I say so much 

without any inhibition?

May be I am audacious.

But, I don't mind the cost

of being brushed

in the hope of letting

something blossom

My point is…

Why not more fragrance

in a world that's decaying

~ 25May25