Monday, December 12, 2016

Of Death and Sufferance

Does death kill ego, hatred, and any other forms of misgivings? For a moment, I thought it did. No... Not really. Between two beings in a tensed relationship, it proves who won and who had the last laugh. Under the pretext of homage, the ego-clad victor stands tall towering over the dead, registering the fact that he has won the race of time. Of course, it is only a temporary relief. But then, we are all ingrained in accumulating brownie points through temporary aspects, be it measures, relief, or victories; such a temporal object the human is. We go behind all things ephemeral: beauty, fame, money, power and whatever falls in the line of that trajectory. Well, what else can we expect? There is but one thing that we do which is indeed anti-temporal. And that is dying.

If one believes in after birth, then even that is temporal. What does this one important act of mankind signify? Because I do not believe in after-birth, I assume that it hardly signifies anything to the dead. For those who are left to survive the death, it is loss, both monetary and non-monetary. But then, death also bestows the survivor with wealth, power, and the usual accompanying suspects. Death brings out what was never said before—of the dead and the things surrounding them. With matters concerning benefits, at times, it brings more estrangements and more misgivings.

Of course, when the death has nothing to do with power, money, and fame, it is pain. It pains from deep inside to come to terms with the vacuum and the desolation created by the dead’s absence. Our heart cringes even with the very thought about the loss of someone who filled your time and senses with joy… like the loss of your very own progeny. 

All said, even these after effects are ephemeral. Time stands a victor, gobbling up even the sorrow that death creates. Don't you forget the fallible human memory that plays the partner in crime with time.

And of sufferance, does death act as a means to reconciliation? In most cases, it does. It makes the intolerant to reconsider and let what was then a major rift to macerate into a passable event. 

Leave alone a situation of death... Even if there is a near-death situation, and if an opportunity for reconciliation presents itself, would we not think about disengaging our ego and come forth to express our forgiveness and be uber-human about it? If that can be done, can we not imagine such a hypothetical situation, be large-hearted, shed our hatred, and look to work in harmony with folks whom we cannot even stand the sight of? That one act of kindness would open up so much more possibilities for collaborative living. If not anything, it would, at the least, let us be at peace with ourselves. 

And certainly, next to work, sufferance is the deliverance of mankind.

Thursday, October 27, 2016


You sucked in so much of me,

only to blow out the light of my soul?

Thursday, October 20, 2016


Do I tell her: Don't ever hurt me again.
do I tell myself: Don't ever get hurt again.

<...writing... as I listen to the rain's chatter.>

Dated: Sep 15, 2016

Monday, October 10, 2016

Afar and Aimless

Seconds after you left me,
the void space around me
threw me afar and aimless;


the unknotted full-blown balloon
that is sucked and squeezed,
and pulled to nowhere.

Tuesday, October 04, 2016



words, of hope and positivity,
come rushing towards me

and jolts me
like a blow of vengeance.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016


I am searching your eyes
For all the love that we lost
Over our anger, actions, and words,
For so long...

Will you redeem it for me,
My love?

Wednesday, September 21, 2016


Anger... mine and yours.
You ask, "what about it?"

In a few seconds,
all was done.

Like that untethered
full-blown balloon,
devoid of its noose.

In one word: haywire.

Monday, August 29, 2016


Be wary and cognizant
of what you do with the dust:

Delayed defense
Delayed offense

...Aug 21, running thoughts...

P.S.: To be read in correlation with 'Dust and Truck'. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2016


What better companions than
The walls that back your spine,
The books that hold your heart,
The music that fills your senses,


The thoughts that create your mind!

...Aug 06, running thoughts...

Monday, August 15, 2016


Rain, my dearest!

I forgive you.

Yours ever,

P.S.: Apparently, my 200th post!

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

What do i do...

What do I do with all the 

songs of my soul 
that do not see the vocal passage,

love in my heart
that do not penetrate the indurate,

tunes in my head
that do not become scales and notes,

thoughts in my head
that do not meet the monochromes of a paper,

light in my eyes
that do not see the words of a book,

fire in my spirit
that go unkindled.

Tuesday, August 02, 2016


i am not running fast,
but i am gasping for breath.
i am not working hard,
but i am longing for a break.
i am not thinking through,
but i am feeling spent.
i am not shackled,
but i am aching for freedom.

Monday, July 11, 2016


After I was charred
And just when I began to sob,
I hear a child cry...

It was neither an obstinate
nor an unreasonable cry.

It resonated inside my entire self,
And felt like our cries were in unison.

My heart shattered...

Like the shattering
of the bridge that shared
the same vibrating frequency
as the march of the soldiers on it.

Tuesday, June 07, 2016


Of late,
Things are being spewed at me.
The hurling objects look to me
like glowing snow-like pebbles
smothered with ash.

It is not until late that I realize
they are the radiantly glowing,
hot and fuming pieces of coal.

I chide myself
for being incognizant
of the mistaken identity--
of the words.


I am all charred by then.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


Heartaches are messy.
Especially the ones involving misunderstandings.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Thankful and Happy

It's not happy people who are thankful;
It's thankful people who are happy.

Thursday, April 14, 2016


Why that urge to stuff 
as much of you 
as much as I can
inside my head and heart, 
my thoughts and soul?

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Love sunk, again!

When I fell in love with a song, I always tried to translate it and quenched my thirst. If I loved it so dearly, I also wrote about it. And now, even though I have not written about this song as yet, and I am going to write about it now, I am not sure if the respect for this song is going to die down so easily… Honestly, I am so madly in love with this song that I am feeling so bad that I cannot translate it one more time!

Out of the blue, the thought to listen to it and make it fill my senses bloomed on a very tired night, when I was trying to keep a guard on myself and that is something that I am not going to talk about here, because it is going to be out of context. In fact, the song actually managed to hijack my concentration from a thing that has been holding my mind captive for days together now. However, without much digression, let me say the song that I am talking about. But before I plunge, I must say that music and writing has again come to my rescue.

The translation was dated Nov 23, 2011. The rediscovery is happening almost 5 years later. And I just discovered that I had written, ‘Childlike Joy’, when I had attempted to translate this song then. No wonder…! Well, I am talking about my fondness for this song.

So what is so special about this song? OK. So which song is it that is robbing me of much needed sleep… It is ‘Kadhal Vaithu’ from the movie, Deepavali.

First off, I think it is the verses, and the next two things that would go in hand would be the voice and the music. I am not really going to talk about the lyrics here because I think I have done justice to it. So, the next best thing is the voice. Vijay Yesudas literally dignifies this song despite a few shortcomings that exist in every song, which are a few necessary evil things, either to fill the time and space, and the void. He is so sincere, so matter of fact, so soaked in love, elated, so endearing and passionate, in that order from the moment he starts singing first word of the song. And then he goes off in the tone of a story teller, and then becomes a person who is so love sunk. And then, the music takes off…

The simple guitar chords that begin the song, the amazing violin in the early to the middle portion of the song, the sarangi in the later half, the brief and subtle piano at the end, and the closing violin that signs off the song epitomizes the way a composer can use the instruments so flawlessly.


Dated: Feb 16, 2016

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Move on!

I was looking for 'move-on' quotes and here are some of them that I liked:

One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder.

Moving on is hard.
Knowing when to move on is harder.

I am proud of my heart.
It's been Played, Stabbed, Cheated, Burned, and Broken.
But somehow...
It still works!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...
~Dr. Seuss

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop.
Leave them alone.
Walk away.
It's not like you're giving up,
and it's not like you shouldn't try.
It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation.
What is truly yours will eventually be yours,and what is not,
no matter how hard you try,
will never be.
~ Unknown

Friday, March 25, 2016

A quarter in my mind

Words of the quarter:

Monday, March 21, 2016

The sweet thorn

You were that sweet thorn
That I could touch on and on
And I hate to say that
It is not so...

Sunday, March 13, 2016

I am ready

The resurgent and rejuvenated me is ready
To lock horns with the raging bull...
called l i f e

Friday, February 19, 2016


You illuminated my sleep 
with your memories,
and made the minutes of those sleepless hours
the switches to turn off the light.

OK... So, there may not be a parallel, but then the fact is that this post is certainly an inspiration of the following verses in the song, 'Thalli pogathey' from Acham Yenbadhu Madamaiyada...

Nagarum... nodigal...
Thasaiadi pole
Mudhugin mela
Vari vari kavidhai.

And my attempt to translate just that bit, an impromptu one...

The ticking seconds lash my flesh.
It pares the skin over my spine.
And so...
I write these streaks of verses.

Thanks to lyricist Thamarai for her beautiful verses!

Thursday, February 11, 2016


You are the...

the first one in my mindafter the sun blooms.

that creeps amidst the dispirited chores.

that my feet feels on the beach.

in my spirited morning run.

for the verses in my poem.

that I decide to play in loop.

that fills all my senses.

when I talk to a long-seen best friend.

that the music I looped creates in my mind.

Saturday, February 06, 2016

Translation of Mazhai Vara Pogudhe from Yennai Arinthal

There she comes, the rain.
And now, she begins to shower.
Would it do to not get soaked?

The flower garden is closing in.
And now, the place is oozing with charm.
Would it do to not get lost?

My heart floats
like the cloud-like soft cotton,
What do I do to redeem it?
I wonder to whom would it listen!

With her sea-like eyes 
she tranced me.
I have already gone lost,
and yet, it is all for good.

A bit on the fire, 
a bit on the river,
unsure and still, stands my heart.

With her dark eyes, 
the doe-eyed keeps stabbing me,
and yet,
the pain has such sweetness.

She asks me to live in,
in her dimpled cheek.
What a priceless boon
for a lifetime!

She dropped by when the moon slept in the clouds, 
and I was drawn deep in my dreams.
And yet, when she left, 
she never bothered to caress me.

The eyes would not shut
and the sleep would not arrive.
She named it love,
and blessed me abundantly with it.

She nears, and my heart goes ahead.
She goes, and my heart goes behind...
My heart! You are so stuffed with her memories.

Keep the eyes of the butterfly shut,
and yet, it still reaches the flower.
What about the rain?
It does have to reach the earth.

Where you stand, 
there reaches my eyes.
I am so fixated that you walk back and forth, 
and my heart just keeps vacillating merrily.

are the swaying peacock,
with your tail on my shoulders...
I would watch it trail by, 
all my life.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Mazhai Vara Pogudhe from Yennai Arindhal

After quite a long time, a song has caught me unawares, made me get hooked to it for its casualness, coolness, the romance in it, verve, and for its amazing lyrical quality.

Thamarai never fails to amaze me with her brilliance. She is just amazing! The song has the feel that the Ennai Konjam song from Kaakha Kaakha gave. The structure of the song and the way Karthik has sung the song kind of reminds me of the Karka Karka song in Vettaiyadu Vilayadu. However, it still has some very unique elements like the part where the lady hums and the veenai bit plays the second fiddle, and yet, it is the veenai that you strain and yearn to hear more. The veenai kind of reminds you of the striking way in which it was used in the Uyirin Uyire song in Kaakha Kaakha. But then, the pleasing undertones in this one just draws you in... And, looks like Harris has still not forgotten the guitar background that features in the 'Love at First Sight' song by Kylie Minogue. Kinda the same guitar bit that appears in the Manjal Veyil song in Vettaiyadu Vilayadu.

All said, Mazhai Vara Pogudhe is a beautiful song from the team. And when I say 'team', how can I miss talking about the visual? It has a real charm to it--the way the couple starts off with an SMS and ends with a beautiful romance bit. None to beat Gautham Menon for the way he makes the visuals for his songs. Of course, should I even say about the pair... This one, for sure, is such a beauty and would stay etched in the memories for quite some time now.

Translation of Mazhai Vara Pogudhe from Yennai Arindhal... Coming soon!

Sunday, January 10, 2016


I listen to music to beat my blues...

P.S.: Funny I just realized there is so much music even in that sentence that I just wrote!

Saturday, January 09, 2016

After a long time!

Playing in loop: Just the way you are, by Bruno Mars.

Amazing is just not the word!

Friday, January 01, 2016

Emotion and Writing

At times, there are changes that warn you, worry you, and overwhelm you. And by the time it is all finished, you feel so spent. And then there are changes that are so subtle that you realize that things have changed only after everything is over.

The way things change in one’s life without any notice is such a mystery. And either ways, you are so disturbed that you become so sleepless by the event. And either ways, when you expel the emotion by writing, it certainly does a lot of good. It is better that way, because you become a much more composed person having tamed the beast called emotion.

You can pour it out on someone; but then, how much ever you talk about it, the intensity just does not abate, and at times, it grows on you and batters you.

Writing certainly tames your mind. As you spend time on writing, you get to take control of the situation and drive the outcome, rather than being a victim of the outcome.

So, w r i t e!