Grief

 
A day or two later,
You are not sure if you are weeping 
You are not sure why you are weeping 
There are times,
You are not sure why you smiled 
at that old woman on the street 

And then,
You wonder if you ever smiled
at dad while he was still alive. 
and chidingly tell yourself...
What kind of daughter you were!
And sulk even more.

After a few days of not crying 
You think you have grieved, enough. 
Or at times, when you don't grieve,
You say, 
'See.. I told you. Grief is overhyped.' 

But, No. Out of nowhere, 
there are moments of 
'a very still life'
So much... that you wonder 
If there is still life.

Like, a few weeks later,
You are hurriedly paring the pineapple 
that kids need for their snacks break
And you don't curse but cry 
if when the knife dad had used was 
not sharp enough...

Now, no doubt. 
That is Grief.

~ 18Jan24 to 05Feb24