My growing love for lists

Friends who lend time, unjudging ears
Stillness that accepts things and moves on
un-yearning heart
serenity from listening to a piano
faith in God, hopefulness
the sustaining spirit
being self-sufficient, complete, and enough
feeling of confidence in your stride, and
unwavering determination
awareness of what is right, and
knowing what to do
patience implanted by a good book

Warmth of food on your palate
pleasure of smooth chocolate
sprightliness from cold, tangy juice

Heart that spells, mind that listens, memory that retains
impulse to leave the job at hand and start writing

Compass

Babe,
You are the compass
How would you get lost?

Salt Puddle

I was sitting on the park bench,
my retreat after the refreshing run
With my head drooping down
arms affixed and shank hanging loose

Not bothering to wipe my brows
I let the sweat drip down
And one of them lands itself 
on the edge of the bench

One or two of the curious, playful
small black ants
check on their new-found puddle

Time ticks away, and 
a lot more swarm around it
Now, I realize that they were sipping
like it was some nectar

After a while, the pool shrinks to half
disappearing imperceptibly
alike a sinking sun,
that you cannot see descending

Dead End

When we look for on-the-go directions to a destination,
a dead end also indicates direction.

Move on.

Orphans

We sway together
to the tunes of the wind
We grow together
in the warmth of the sun
We shed together
in the seasons of change
We weep together
to the sadness of the rain

At the treetops we are entwined
and cannot tell apart
each of our twigs or branches
Our roots are different
and far apart
We are the leaves of the trees
across an avenue

Siblings and Marriage

We still can enjoy nectar
from the pulp
of the cane
that you have chewed.

Avenues of Warmth

Words

Time

Thoughts

Poetry

Music

Cotton

Conversations

Shells

I pluck beautiful thoughts
from the mind tree
of my beautiful orchard
during my morning runs,
like
the kid picking and sorting
lovely sea shells
from the beach sand.

Discourse

The warmth derived, after
the discourse of a bereaved mind
is enough to comfort
someone lain bare-bodied on
a slab of glacial ice.


dated: Dec 17, 2018

Me

I wander all around
like a nomad, unaware 
of what I am looking for
Yet,
I discover, rejoice, and relish
I falter, suffer, and learn
You say I deviate...
But, you must understand:
I know, that I have to
come back home.

That's me. Know me.

Tired

After a long day, I hit the bed
I lay on my left and realize that
my body's pressed so hard, that
I begin to feel parts of myself
My entire head, torso, 
and my lower limbs.

I surrendered and 
entrusted myself to it
Knowing that it will 
take good care of me
Like walking beside the one I love,
completely carefree, 
and mindless and unaware
of my path, 
back home.

Autumn

God's blessing,
A thousand kisses flying,
All swirling and swaying, each
at its own pace and gait,
like butterflies that flew
from heaven to earth,
that only knew to take 
a vertical descent
Each fall's varying measure, 
telling me of the stateliness.

A thousand autumn leaves
dry and withered, yet
sprightly and cheerful, falling
from an old, wise tree
that I am lying under...
One thousand of 'em
shower my supine body,
and a few caress tenderly
my tired, deprived face.

The Annoying Itch

You are pretty sure
That the room is dark and calm
And you have been laying still

With eyes closed and ears shut
You see glaring lights
And hear deafening noises

When all you pray
Is to get a good night's sleep

As an answer to your prayer
Your head attempts to clear this clutter

It searches for words, replaces them
It strings them together
And recites them over n over
Until it finds the right ones
To allay the annoyance

Now you cannot restrain
But to straighten up and scratch the itch
Lest you lose the pearls you beaded


Dated - Oct 17, 2018

The Gift

If there is one that you would want to give to someone whom you think must get the best in this world. Like say, for instance, your kid. And let's assume that they have the innate sense to take of good care of things that they own and always strive to honor the responsibility given to them--to take good care what you have bestowed them.

What would you gift?

The fact that I started writing on 'the gift' deems me to give it hands down to the blessing of losing yourself to the versatility of music, of the things it can do to you. And like the fusion of two of the best things, it would be the duo of immersing yourself into the moments when the rain god presents herself and augmenting it with the vivacious listening spell that you have bound yourself into.

Addiction and Escapism

I see the poorest of the poor lining up at the liquor store, spending the last few pennies that they had saved up after toiling their self through physical hardship; all for some intoxication and relief. And I wonder: why would someone struggle so much to earn those meagre shillings and waste it upon liquor. What for... For the high and the temporary relief from their current mental and physical state. They yearn for the pleasure they received the first time. Then, it becomes a habit, and then, there kicks in the avalanche effect. That is addiction, and the point is escapism. An escape from the worldly botherations.

And then, I wonder how different we are from these folks. Of course, the modality of addiction and the level of moral degradation varies by a large amount. We tend to overdo stuff, spend excessive time and effort over what is not needed, and obsess over certain aspects that do not deserve so much attention. We are addicted to, and practice escapism. We kill time and pain like those who do so after consumption of liquor. Just that we use food, television, movies, work, and social media as various means of escapism.

At varying intensties, the end point or the areas of intersection between the alcoholics versus non-alcoholics would be addiction, loss of self-worth, lack of self control, mindlessness, recklessness, lack of concern over the first circle of influence (influence both ways), and loads and loads of meandering from the expected and desired path and action.


Dated - Aug 10, 2018

Comfort

You are lying supine 
with your heart thumping loud and hard,
thigh muscles burning, out of intense work,
and your tensed core gets a breather.

Your eyes are closed,
arms resting on the floor,
and knuckles on your brow.

Your feet, which usually rest,
under the weight of your body,
is now resting on the gym floor,
bearing the weight
of just the portion beneath the bent knee.

While you are so,
you think about penning these thoughts
with the title 'comfort'.

That was mental comfort,
after the innumerous dry days of 'un' writing.


Dated - Jul 28, 2018

Between Shades of Gray and Karwaan

How long has it been since I saw a movie as refreshing as the cool breeze on a sweaty evening! It was the Friday evening and my official weekend hours. Yes... weekend, for me, lasts for a few hours, and that is the Friday evening. The weekend is technically work for home. Work is work, isn't it, be it home or office. Anyways, c'est la vie! So, after a long time, I was surfing Amazon Prime to see if there was anything worthwhile, and this one popped up. The movie poster had Dulquer and Irrfan sharing a light moment with another young lady, and with tender coconut in their hands; so, by the first looks, it came across as a good movie to spend time on.

You get to traverse most of the first part with Dulquer's misgiving in his life. But then, it does not come out so on-your-face, like the typical lifeless guy with a beard. He is a guy who had to lose his passion for the sake of his father, who harps on a solid career, rather than dwelling on one's passion. For his father, Dulquer's passion was a mere insecure vocation that vacillated unsteadily, tethered by luck at the binding end. Dulquer is shown desperately seeking the attention of his love interests at a few places, and that is still reasonable for a guy with a single status. There is not much of a background for Irrfan, apart from the fact that he owns a few vehicles, but not the suave kinds, along the lines of his character in Piku; yet, he is a practical, lovable, and a rustic character. He has a brotherly affinity for Dulquer, and this clarifies or convinces us as to why he would take his personal vehicle to help Dulquer; a vehicle styled similar to the Volkswagen Camper.

So, Karwaan refers to a caravan, the vehicle that Irrfan drives to exchange Amala's mom's mortal remains with that of Dulquer's dad. Both their parents had travelled to the Ganges on a pilgrimage and the bus meets with an accident. For a few seconds, I actually could not recognize the beautiful Amala, but then her gait and body language lets you make the guess. Before the exchange act starts, there is a piece on the way the travel company and the courier company handle the demises; it does look a bit stony and dramatic, but I guess that is how it really is... perhaps more like the way George Clooney presents himself when he issues the pink slips in Up in the Air.

The exchange of conversation between Dulquer and the spoilt brat in Amala's daughter, and the situational romantic tragedies when Irrfan's tries to hit on a woman he falls for, form the rest of the movie. The movie evokes memories of Soodhu Kavvum and Neram, in the way it has dealt certain parts of the plot. Now here, I must say that my references to the other movies is certainly an injustice to Karwaan, especially after having had so much fun watching the movie. It certainly has a refreshing appeal and is a must watch. There's no doubt about it.

Karwaan was actually sandwiched between two of the many quick reading sessions of the book, Between Shades of Gray written by Ruta Sepetys. That night, after watching Karwaan, I was extending my weekend hours for a little longer, and I was not too sure if I must continue the emotionally heavy book after seeing such a light-hearted movie. But then, I reasoned it out saying that a good movie stands apart for the lightness it brings, despite the drama contained external to it. And, a good book like Between the Shades of Gray, however tragic it may be, does not dwell in your mind for the horrors endured by the protagonists (Lina and her fellow members), but the positivity and the ray of hope that beams throughout the narration.

Thereon and until the end, there was still a lot more tragedy in Lina's life. There were places in the book that were ghastly, and yet, Karwaan's aura never faded. And, neither did I feel so desolated after I finished the book.

Of course, even though there was a little hope saved at the closing of the book, when the inspecting doctor arrives, it still is not a happy ending. Could be primarily because of the number of years after which the countries surrounding Lithuania, the Baltic countries, got their freedom from the tyranny of Russia. In all, a very good book after a really long time. And it is yet another book that carries values and reinstates the spirit of hope amidst doom and despair.


Dated - Oct 06, 2018

Come Back

The pupils forgot to dilate,

my heart settled to beat slower...

perhaps, my blood got colder?

My senses were rarely alert

and never reached any high.

I was desperate and helpless.

I could not realize what I missed.

I was searching for something

to fill the void, not knowing what.

I was shoved around and
thrown into a perpetual dismay.
With convictions thrown astray
my ship sunk into diffidence.
I felt like I lost my voice
and my power to reason and say.

My constants exclaimed

that I seemed to have aged.

In actual, I was rotting

and indulging in self-sabotage.

Today, realization dawned
and slung me
to heightened consciousness.
Like an ablution 
at the close of a tired day,
like being amidst 
the expanse of a calm blue sea,
like inhaling scentless 
whiff of mist atop a hill.

I notice that it's you.
Am so glad to have gotten you back,
and, most of all, am glad it was you...

Dear Euphoria!

The Unburied

I ask the flowers a reason
For being prodigal
Shedding itself in vain
All its glorious blooms
On the dismal roads

In reply, it says to me
"I weep and pay homage
To all my warriors
The seeds, twigs, and leaves
Who gracefully heeded, and
Gave way to new blood
They are my kith and kin,
My bullets, swords, and shields
Who lay unburied
On the tarred, cold roads
Hapless and nowhere to go
Deprived of their deathright
To lay peacefully
In the womb of Mother Earth

I shed to perform their last rites"

I stood there pained and meek
Before I could say anything
The flower continued to speak

"I question mankind in disdain
About the inaction and imprudence
To let the valorous bodies
Their bones and flesh
Decay in dishonor
The ones that braved and fought
The likes of
Nature, time, and circumstance.

You better explain..."

Pleasure Balloons

It's a pity that
We've trained ourselves
To fly high
Only when we inflate our minds
With pleasure.