A child is born out of the labour of love is a mix of chromosomes from both sides. Extending this physical phenomena over to the psychological concept of love: the love for a person is not just singularly because of the person being loved; it is in actual your perception of who they are, which is an interpretation of their personality by means of who you are or how you see them. So, you are in love with yourself and the other person, together, when you say you are in love with the other person.
And when it comes to understanding people, there are two sides to it: your side and theirs. There is their side of looking at you, and the reaction, both yours and theirs.
So, at any point in time, it is just a partial understanding between the two that drives the relationship. A partial understanding of who you are, who you are to them, and add to it a partial understanding of who they are to you.
And at any point in time, it is an imagined reality of the other person and their actions. Thanks to Ben Okri for articulating this so well, as well as the buddhist thoughts and concepts of what reality is.
Hence, there is never a complete understanding at any point in time; and it would take years, for even completely conscious beings who have this understanding of how fragile their understanding of each other can be, to be able to correlate each other’s actions. And add to it the effort it takes to come to terms with the other person's idiosyncrasies and shortcomings. That is indeed a lot of time!
So, if the person accepts or rejects or denies another person’s love, it is not entirely because of them or you; there is equal contribution from you and them.
~16 Feb 2025
No comments:
Post a Comment